A Diamond On A Heart

A play with three acts

The story

    The time is the 1950’s 60’s and the play is a romance. Diane and Bob are high school sweethearts. Diane’s older sister also had a boyfriend in high school. At graduation she was three months pregnant. Their mother, Bev, fears the same thing will happen to Diane and she watches over the two young lovers such that they have no time alone. Frustrated with this Diane and Bob quarrel and break up. Diane can not face the heartbreak of losing the boy she loves. She goes on the rebound. A girl friend invites her to a “Youth For Christ” meeting and Diane falls for Milton, a man four years older and the leader of the fundamentalist Christian group. They immediately become a couple and after only a month Milton proposes marriage and sets up the wedding date. Diane is caught in her pretense. While convincing herself that she is madly in love with Milton, she does silly things which embarrass him. She is subconsciously attempting to escape her commitment. It doesn’t work. Finally, however, she uses is her brother-in-law to save her from this marriage and sets out to find her way back to Bob.

The characters

Diane……eighteen.

Bob……..her boyfriend, same age.

Milton…..twenty two years old

Bev……..her mother

Harvy……her dad

George…..her brother, eleven.

Janet……her sister twenty two

Doug…….Janet’s husband, same age.

The set

   …is the home of a working class family in the 1950’s. The dinning and living room are separated by a narrow archway. To the audience’s left is the dinning room, table and chairs in the center. The kitchen door is in the left wall. A built in buffet occupies the rest of that wall. In the dinning room wall, the one facing the audience there is a door that goes to the bedrooms.

    The other end of this wall goes into the living room and opens to a foyer with a closet in its left wall and with the front door in the right wall. It opens into a porch which is off stage. George has the downstairs bedroom and it is beside the porch. In the living room and the right wall are three windows with shades and curtains. They look out to the sidewalk and street In the first act a desk is here and the couch is along the living room’s back wall. In the second and third act these two are switched. A easy chair with an end table is by the archway

There is a radio on the desk and lamps by the chairs. There is a center piece on the table. The house is well furnished and comfortable.

The house is on a main artery to downtown. In the spring when the windows are open the sound of cars and footsteps on the sidewalk are heard.

1

Act I

IT IS TEN O’CLOCK ON A SUNDAY NIGHT IN EARLY MARCH. THE WINDOWS ARE FROSTED ALONG THE EDGES SHOWING THAT IT IS COLD OUTSIDE. IN THE DINNING ROOM, THE CEILING LIGHT IS ON. IT IS BRIGHT AND IT LIGHTS THE LIVING ROOM AS WELL. THERE IS A LAMP ON THE END TABLE AND IT IS ALSO ON. A LIGHT COMES FROM THE KITCHEN DOOR.

    DIANE AND BOB ART SEATED AT THE TABLE. THEY ARE DRESSED FOR WINTER. DIANE WEARS A SHORT SLEEVED ANGORA SWEATER AND A SKIRT WITH THE HEM BELOW HER KNEES. BOB WEARS A FANNEL SHIRT AND CORUROY PANTS. AT THE TABLE, DIANE FACES THE KITCHEN DOOR WHILE BOB TO HER LEFT FACES THE LIVINGROOM. THEY ARE PLAYING DOUBLE SOLITAIR WHICH TAKES TO DIFFERENT DECKS OF CARDS WITH DIFFERENT BACKS.

    BEV IS IN THE KITCHEN. FROM TIME TO TIME THERE IS THE CLICK OF DISHES, THE REFRIGERATOR DOOR CLOSING OR THE SOUND OF RUNNING WATER.

    THE TWO ARE WAITING FOR THE MOTHER TO GO TO BED SO THAT CAN BE ALONE, TURN DOWN THE LIGHT AND SIT ON THE COUCH AND GET CLOSE TO ONE ANOTHER. FOR THE MOST PART, THEY HAVE LOST INTEREST IN THE CARD GAME. WHENEVER A SOUND COMES FROM THE KITCHEN THEY LOOK THAT WAY AND THEN AT EACH OTHER.

I-2

DIANE

    Bob, you just put a diamond on a heart.

BOB

    I did? Oh yeah, I did, didn’t I. I guess I’m not paying much attention anymore.

DIANE

    You missed the nine too. You can put the nine up.

BOB

    Put the nine up? (HE LOOKS AT HIS CARDS AND THEN AT HERS.) Yeah sure; when I put the nine up, you got your ten, jack and queen right there, bang, bang bang. Oh no, not this time.

DIANE

    You have to put it up if it is there.

BOB

    No you don’t.

I-3

DIANE

Yes, you do. I know you do. That’s the rules. You have to put them up when they’re there.

DISHES CLINK IN THE KITCHEN AND THEY LOOK THERE AND THEN AT EACH OTHER.

BOB

(HE LOWERS HIS VOICE) How much long is she going to take?

DIANE

    She won’t be much longer. She’s just making our lunches.

BOB

    Some lunch. Your dad must take his in a bread basket.

DIANE

That’s not funny. I hate it when you think you’re smart.

I-4

BOB

    Well she’s been in there an hour already. Your dad went to bed a long time ago.

DIANE

    It hasn’t been an hour. Besides it’s my lunch and Georgie’s too. Tomorrow is Monday, you know. Work, school.

BOB

    Monday, oh yeah Monday; all weekend and we never had a chance to be alone; not with all those big accidents down on the corner.

DIANE

    She did think that was an accident. It sounded like one to me too.

BOB

    No, you didn’t. You were just as surprised when she came out as I was. Some guy was just squealing his wheels up at the corner.

I-5

DIANE

    I heard. I just didn’t think it woke her up, that’s all. Bob, I don’t want to start arguing. Let’s play cards now.

BOB

    He was just laying rubber, that’s all. You know why she got up. It didn’t have to do with that. (HE MIMICS) Oh dear, must have been an accident. I better go see.

DIANE

    (SHE SLAPS HER HAND DOWN AND RAISES HER VOICE) Damn it Bob. You think you’re so God damn smart. I hate that. I hate it.

AWARE OF HER OUTBURST, BOTH LOOK TO THE KITCHEN DOOR. DIANE PUT HER HAND TO HER MOUTH. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SUDDENLY IT SEEMS TO BE FUNNY AND THEY LAUGH.

BOB

    Maybe I should play the nine after all.

DIANE

    You have to play it.

I-6

BOB

    No, I don’t. I might have other cards I want to play. I might not get that nine up there for a long time.

DIANE

    Okay, I can wait. You’re going to have to play it sooner or later. And your diamond is still on my heart.

BOB

    I know. I’m taking if off. See? I’ll just go through my deck again. (HE IS PLANNING TO CATCH HER OFF GUARD.)

DIANE

    That’s fine. I can wait. You won’t beat me with your ten. I know what you’re up to.

BOB

    You do, huh?

BOB LOOKS AT HIS HAND, FINGERS ONE CARD AND THEN ANOTHER, LOOKS OVER THEM TO HER AND THEN SUDDENLY SLAPS DOWN THE NINE AND GOES FOR HIS TEN. DIANE IS FASTER AND BEATS

I-7

HIM AS SHE SLAPS DOWN HER TEN AND THEN THE JACK AND THEN HE GRABS HER WRIST. THEY TUSSLE AND GET UP FROM THEIR CHAIRS.

DIANE

(LAUGHING) You can’t do that.

THEY KISS, ONCE AND THEN AGAIN. THERE IS THE SOUND OF A LIGHT SWITCH AND THE KITCHEN LIGHT GOES OFF. BEV STEPS OUT, SEES THEM AND STEPS BACK IN THE KITCHEN. SHE SNAPS ON AND OFF THE LIGHT SWITCH, CLEARS HER THROAT AND STEPS OUT AGAIN.

DIANE A BOB QUICKLY SIT AND PRETEND TO BE BUSY WITH THEIR GAME OF SOLITAIRE.

DIANE

    You have to put back your cards, Bob. I had mine there first.

BEV

    I’ll be going to bed now. Tomorrow is Monday, you know. There’s school for you two.(BEV WALKS BEHIND BOB AND TO THE HALLWAY DOOR.)

I-8

DIANE

    I know, mom. We’re just finishing our game here.

BEV

    It is after ten, you know.

DIANE

    I know. Bob’s only going to stay a little while. We’re just going to finish this game.

BEV

It’s awfully cold out there, Bobby, and you do have a long walk home.

BOB

    I know. I suppose I really should be going. (HE STARTS TO PUSH BACK HIS CHAIR AND GET UP. DIANE PUTS HER HAND ON HIS ARM AND STOPS HIM)

DIANE

    No, we have to finish the game.

I-9

BEV

    Alright then. But it is Sunday night; School tomorrow.

BOB

    Yeah, I guess I should…(AGAIN BOB STARTS TO GET UP AND DIANE STOPS HIM.)

BEV

    I’m not trying to rush you. I just want to remind you. That’s all.

DIANE

    We know mom. Mom, good night, good night. Don’t worry about us.

BEV

    Well, alright, good night then. (BEV STEPS INTO THE HALLWAY, STOPS FOR A MOMENT.) Six o’clock comes along pretty fast. BEV EXITS

DIANE

I know, night mom.

I-10

BOB AND DIANE CONTINUE TO PLAY DOUBLE SOLITAIRE FOR THE NEXT MINUTE. THE ARE QUIET AND ONCE AND AGAIN LOOK TO THE HALLWAY DOOR.

DIANE

    You think we should finish?

BOB

    Lets; I’ll let you win this one.

DIANE

(SHE LAUGHS) Oh sure. You only won one game and that’s because you cheated.

BOB

    I didn’t cheat. You’re the one who cheated. I heard your sister Janet say you always cheat.

DIANE

    That’s because I always beat them too.

I-11

THEY PUSH BACK THEIR CHAIRS AND GET UP. AS BOB WALKS TO THE LIVINGROOM, DIANE GOES TO THE HALLWAY DOOR, PUTS HER HEAD IN TO LOOK AND LISTEN. BESIDE THE DOOR IS THE SWITCH FOR THE CEILING LIGHT AND SHE FLIPS IT OFF. NOW ONLY THE SOFTER LIVING ROOM LAMP IS ON. IN THE LIVING ROOM, BOB PUTS OUT HIS HAND AS SHE NEARS HIM. THEY HUG, THEY KISS. THEY SMILE AT EACH OTHER.

BOB

Finally

DIANE

    I wish it was Saturday night.

BOB

    Yeah, and nobody’d be laying rubber up there at the corner.

DIANE

    I don’t want to talk about that.

BOB

    Me neither.

I-12

    THEY SIT ON THE COUCH WITH DIANE Laying ACROSS HIS LAP UP FACING HIM THEIR VOICES ARE TOO LOW AND ONLY BIT ARE HEARD. DIANE LAUGHS. “YOU THINK SO, HUH” “OH YEAH” HE LAUGHS. THEY TUSSLE AND THEN THEY KISS. THIS HAPPENS IN ONLY MINUETS WENT IN TH FROM THE HALLWAY DOOR, A HAND COMES OUT AND SWITCHES ON THE CEILING LIGHT. SUDDENLY IT IS BRIGHT. BOB AND DIANE QUICKLY BREAK APART. DIANE SITS STRAIGHT BOB STARTS TO GET UP AND DIANE GRABS HIS ARM TO STOP HIM.

BEV ENTERS. SHE SQUINTS AGAINST THE BRIGHT LIGHT. SHE IS WEARING A ROBE OVER HER NIGHTGOWN.

DIANE AND BOB RESEAT THEMSELVES FARTHER APART. BOB SIGHS AND ROLLS HIS EYES. DIANE ANGERED WITH THIS, NUDGES HIM.

BEV

    I never did check the weather, did I? Did they say how cold it is going to get tonight?

I-13

DIANE

    The weather, why do you need to know that? You never cared before.

BOB

    I really should be going. (HE STANDS UP)

BEV

    Oh, no Bobby. I didn’t come out just to chase you away. No, I just wanted to hear how cold it’s going to get tonight. I forgot to check.

DIANE

    Mom, you never check the weather.

BOB

    (AS DIANE SPEAKS.) I know, but I’ll be going now.

DIANE

    (SPEAKING AT THE SAME TIME AS BOB, SHE FINISHES WITH) That isn’t why you’re up.

I-15

BEV

    (SHE STEPS TO THE DESK.) How can you say that? I always check the weather. Winter should be over but it’s still here and when it’s below zero, dad had to warm up the car. We have to get up earlier. (SHE TURNS ON THE RADIO, DIALS THROUGH BITS OF MUSIC AS SHE LOOKS FOR A WEATHER REPORT.)

    BOB WALKS TO THE FOYER AND DIANE FOLLOWS HIM.

DIANE

    Well Bob’s going now. You did the same thing last night.

BEV

    Here it is. (A VOICE FROM THE RADIO IS LOW AND BEV LEANS CLOSE TO IT.)

BOB TAKES HIS COAT FROM THE CLOSET AND STARTS PUTTING IT ON. HE SIGHS WITH AND MAKES A FACE.

DIANE

    Don’t be that way. (SHE LOOKS TO BEV.) He was just going to stay a little while,

I-16

mom. Just because Janet got in trouble doesn’t mean I’m going to. Bob.

BEV

    When did I ever say that? I never said anything about Janet. (A SHORT PAUSE. SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH AND LETS IT OUT.) Well, I didn’t come out here to start of fight. No, and I didn’t mean to chase anybody. (FROM THE RADIO IS THE VOICE OF A MAN.) Here it is now. Let me listen.

    BOB MAKES ANOTHER FACE. DIANE LOOKS SHARPLY AT HIM.

DIANE

    You don’t have to do that Bob.

BOB

    What do you expect?

    BOB OPENS THE DOOR AND STEPS OUT TO THE COLD PORCH WHICH IS OFF STAGE. “BOB” DIANE PLEADS AND SHE FOLLOWS HIM.

I-17

BEV

    Diane, Diane, it’s too cold out there. Diane, you don’t have your shoes on. You’ll freeze your feet. (BEV WALKS TO THE DOOR AND STOPS AS DIANE CLOSES IT.) Now what am I going to do. I don’t why she had to take me the wrong way.

(HARVEY ENTERS FROM THE HALLWAY DOOR. HE IS WEARING PAJAMAS. HIS HAIR MESSED. HE SQUINTS AND PUTS HIS HAND TO SHADOW HIS EYES FROM THE BRIGHT LIGHT.)

BEV

    Harvey, what are you doing up?

HARVEY

    You’re checking up on them again.

BEV

    No, no Harvey. I just got up to listen for the weather. (SHE TURNS OFF THE RADIO.)

And Diane took it all the wrong way. Now she’s out there on the porch in only her stocking feet.

I-18

HARVEY

    The weather? Last night it was an  accident. Why don’t you just let them be. They’re all right. Bob’s a good kid, You know that.

BEV

    I know, don’t you think I know that. I like him very much. He’s a wonderful boy. But it is Sunday; school tomorrow. He should have been gone at nine o’clock. He use to. He never use to stayed pass nine. It’s getting later every week now. You know what that’s leading up to.

HARVEY

    Let’s go back to bed.

BEV

    You never want to talk about it, Harvey. Never. I suppose you want her

running down to Iowa the day after she graduates just like her sister.

I-19

HARVEY

    Bob’s not like Doug.

BEV

    No, he isn’t. I know that. But those two are very much in love. You can see that just by the way they look at each other. And they can’t keep their hands off. You’ve seen that. I come out from the kitchen and there they are, arms around each other, kissing. I had to go back in and pretend I didn’t see. And I know they were just waiting for me to go to bed so they could really….well, you know.

HARVEY

    Gezz Bev, come on now. I know what you’re going to say. Bob doesn’t even have a car. So where… lets go to bed. She’s going to be coming in.

BEV

    A car? You don’t think they need a car do you? Janet and Doug could have been doing it right here on the couch. How would we know? We would have been upstairs sleeping.

I-20

HARVEY

    The couch! (HARVEY LOOKS AT IT LIKE IT SUDDENLY IT BURST INTO FLAMES.) No, no. Bev, look how you’re talking. Come on now, it’s late already. (HE PUTS HIS HAND ON HER BACK TO LEAD HER BACK TO BED. SHE STEPS AWAY.)

BEV

    That’s just it. You never want to talk about it. Never. Before you know it she’ll

be like Janet, yes you’re little Snooks, and it will be right in time for Jill’s wedding. That’s when we’ll hear it. Now we got another one pregnant right out of high school.

    Dorothy never says it, but it’s always right there. I got to hear if they should order real or artificial flowers. You know they do look so real. And the wedding dress, over and over again, the shoes, the veil, the cake and when did I think she should send out the invitations; she wouldn’t want anybody to get a short notices; so what do you think she meant by that?

I-21

HARVEY

    I don’t know why you let your sister get under your skin. Let them have the big

wedding. You got to remember, it’s Jill, not your sister. Before they moved out there, she was over her all the time. It was like she was one of our own.

BEV

    I know. That’s another thing. She really wanted Janet to be her bridesmaid.

They talked about it since they were playing dress-up together.

HARVEY

It just changed because they’re out  there now.

BEV

    It isn’t that. Not way my sister put it. She didn’t know if Janet was going to be pregnant again, that’s why. But it’s two years now and she knows that. Janet hasn’t had any more.

    DIANE’S VOICE FROM THE PORCH. “DAMN IT BOB, YOU’RE THE ONE WHO…” BEV AND HARVEY

I-22

LOOK. “YOU THINK YOU’RE SO….. AND A MOMENT LATER “YOU KNOW WHAT YU CAN DO.”

HARVEY

    You see what you did. Now they’re fighting. Come on lets go to bed.

BEV

    I suppose. We don’t want to be here when she come in.

(THEY TURN TO THE HALLWAY DOOR WHERE NOW GEORRGE ENTERS HE WEARS A PAJAMA TOP WHICH OVERHANG HIS JOCKEY UNDERPANTS.HIS LEGS ARE NAKED. HE PUT HIS ARM OVER HIS FOREHEAD TO SHIELD THE BRIGHT CEILING LIGHT.

BEV

    What are you doing up?

GEORGE

    They’re right outside my window mom. She woke me up. And she swears too. I saw her swing and hit his arm too. She really gets mad when she’s mad.

I-23

HARVEY

    You shouldn’t be listening to them.

GEORGE

    But I can’t help it. I bet all the neighbors can hear her too. I bet.

BEV

    That’s right. Maybe one of us should go out there.

HARVEY

    It’s not that loud. He’ll be going pretty soon.

OFF STAGE: “DAMN IT, YOU SAY THAT ONCE MORE AND I’LL…”

GEORGE

    Bob said it’s all because of Janet. What’d Janet do mom?

HARVEY

    You see? That’s what I mean. You shouldn’t be listening to them.

I-24

BEV

    Dad’s right. You shouldn’t be listening.

GEORGE

    I hear everything on the porch. You want to know something? She should have my bedroom and I’d have hers.

(THE FRONT DOOR KNOB TURNS AS DIANE IS ABOUT TO COME IN.)

HARVEY

    Come on George. We’re going to bed. (HE PUTS HIS HAND ON GEORGE’S BACK AND TURNS

HIM TO THE HALLWAY DOOR. HARVEY AND GEORGE EXIT.)

(DIANE PUSHES OPEN THE DOOR, TURNS ANDSLAMS THE DOOR SHUT. SHE STARE AT IT FOR A MOMENT, TURNS AND SEES HER MOTHER.)

DIANE

    I hate it when he talks like that; thinks he’s so smart. What does he expect me to do? What? He can just go to hell. He can. I told him…..

I-25

    (BOB TAPS LIGHTLY ON THE DOOR. DIANE AND BEV LOOK THERE. HE TAPS AGAIN.)

BEV

    He’s still on the porch. Just go tell him you’ll talk tomorrow.

DIANE

    (SHE STARES AT THE DOOR AND AFTER A MOMENT TAKES A STEP TOWARD IT. SHE STOPS) No, he can freeze out there for all I care.

    IT IS SILENT AND THEN FOOT STEPS SOUND ON THE WOODEN FLOOR. THE PORCH DOOR SHUTS

DIANE

    He’s going now. (WITH THIS DIANE’S MANNER CHANGES FROM ANGER TO HURT.) He’s always complaining. Nothing’s right. What does he expect? What am I suppose to do, to do.(   SHE IS CHOCKED UP.)

BEV

    Sweetheart, you just had a little fight. Tomorrow you can talk and it’ll be alright.

I-26

DIANE

    No it won’t. I know it won’t. We really had a big fight. Oh wow, wow my feet are froze. (SHE GOES TO THE COUCH SITS AND GRABS HER BARE FEET.)

BEV

    They’re all red too. Diane, you should know better. Come now, let’s go to bed. You know you got school tomorrow.

DIANE

    I know. You go to bed. I jut want to sit here for awhile.

BEV

    Alright, goodnight then.  And sweetheart, it will work out tomorrow. It will. (BEV WALKS TO THE HALLWAY DOOR AND SHE EXITS.)

    (DIANE LIFTS HER FEET TO THE CUSHION, HUGS HER KNEES TO HER HEAD AND SHE SOBS.)

END OF ACT ONE

II – 1

ACT II

    IT IS LATE MORNING ON A SATURDAY IN LATE MAY. BRIGHT LIGHT COMES FROM THE WINDOWS. THEY ARE OPEN SUCH THAT THE LIGHT CURTAINS BILLOW A BIT. AND AS THEY ARE OPEN THE SOUND OF CARS PASSING AND FOOTSEPS ON THE SIDEWALK ARE HEARD. THE COUCH IS NOW IN FRONT OF THESE WINDOWS AND THE DESK IS ALONG THE BACK LIVINGROOM WALL. THE REST OF THE TWO ROOMS IS THE SAME AS BEFORE. ON THE LEDGE OF THE BUFFET IS A BOUQUET OF LILACS WHICH TELL THE TIME OF YEAR IT IS. THE TABLE IS COVERED WITH A TABLE CLOTH AND IN THE CENTER IS A CRYSTAL BOWL. THE LIVING ROOM IS SOMEWHAT MESSY WITH PARTS OF A NEWSPAPER, A ORANGE PEEL, CANDY WRAPPER AN EMPTY BOTTLE OF BEER ON THE COUCH AND FLOOR, THE MAGAZINES; LOOK, LIFE, GOOD HOUSEKEEPING MAGAZINES ALONG WITH A FEW COMIC BOOKS ARE UNEVENLY STACKED ON THE END TABLE.

    THE HOUSE IS EMPTY WHEN THE CURTAIN OPENS. THE SOUND OF THE BACK DOOR OPENING OFF STAGE AND THEN BEV AND HARVEY ENTER FROM THE KITCHEN DOOR. THEY HAVE BEEN TO JILL’S WEDDING. HARVEY HAS ON A SUIT WITH WHITE SHIRT AND TIE. BEV IS HAS ON SUIT TYPE OUTFIT. SHE WEARS WHITE GLOVES AND CARRIES A CLUTCH PURSE IN ONE HAND AND IN THE OTHER A SMALL BOUQUET OF ARTIFICIAL

II-2

FLOWERS.

BEV

    No Harvey, they don’t need water. You didn’t think they were real, did you?

HARVEY

    (FOLLOWING HER IN) I did. They look real enough to me. (HE LOOSENS HIS TIE.)

    IN THE KITCHEN COMES THE CLINK OF THE COOKIE JOR COVER. GEORGE IS HELPING HIMSELF.

BEV

    They do. I keep putting them to my nose. You know,I don’t think she was supposed to give them to me. They were in her bouquet. I told her how lovely they were and smiled and just pulled them out and gave them to me. (SHE PLACES THE FLOWERS IN THE CRYSTAL BOWL)  I thought: is this something brides do now. But I didn’t see her give them to anybody else.

    GEORGE ENTERS WITH ONE HAND HOLDING COOKIES TO HIS CHEST AND WITH THE OTHER HE

II-3

HOLDS ONE HALF EATEN. WITH THAT HAND HE PULLS OUT THE CHAIR AND INSTEAD OF SITTING KNEELS ON IT WITH HIS ELBOWS ON THE TABLE. HE CONTINUES TO EAT THE COOKIE. HE IS IN A SUIT THAT IS JUST A LITTLE TO SMALL FOR HIM.

BEV

    You took all those cookies? Georgie, we’re going to have lunch in a little while now. Put them down. You can’t eat them.

    HARVEY WITHOUT UNDOING THE KNOT, SLIPS THE TIE OVER HIS HEAD.

GEORGE

    (HE PUT THEM ON THE TABLE.) I was hungry. That wedding lasted forever; all that church stuff, standing, sitting, standing, up and down. Diane’s better not be like that.

BEV

    Diane’s wedding? No,I don’t want to think about that. Not now. Jill was such a beautiful bride. She just radiated. I got all teary.  She and Janet were so close.

II-4

She was over here all the time. She was like she was one of our own.

HARVEY

    She was, wasn’t she? We’d take her with us too, the movies, fishing when we rented the cabin. She did seem like…

GEORGE

    (HE INTERUPTS) You want to know something? I knew these were fake right from the start. You know that? Mom? You know how I knew? Look, you can see the wire coming out of the stems. I saw that right away. I bet you didn’t know they were fake.

BEV

    Georgie, we were talking. Of course, I knew. Aunt Dorothy told me a long time ago. You better go change now. You know you’ll be wearing that tonight for the reception. So go put on your play clothes.

HARVEY

    I got to get out this too.

II-5

GEORGE

    Play clothes? Mom, I don’t wear play clothes. I’m not a little kid, you know. And I’m George, not Georgie.

BEV

    Alright. I forgot; it’s George. Now just go and put on what you wear to play.

GEORGE

    That doesn’t sound any better.

BEV

    For heaven’s sake, Georgie, George, what does it matter. (SHE STOPS AT THE SOUND OF A CAR DOOR SLAMMING.) That must be Janet and Doug. She wants to borrow that jewelry of grandma’s. She asked if I still

had it.

GEORGE

Doug’s coming. (HE GET OFF THE CHAIR AND RUNS INTO THE LIVING ROOM AND ONTO THE COUCH AND LOOKS OUT THE FRONT WINDOW.) No, I knew that wasn’t Doug. I knew it. His car’s got that sound. (HE MIMICS THE SOUND

II-6

OF A CAR ENGINE.) He’s got the Hollywood muffler. It’s Diane and Milton.

BEV

    He’s not coming in, is he?

GEORGE

    I don’t know. He just got out and he’s walking around the car. Isn’t that something? She just waits for him to come

around and open the door. She just sits there. She never did that when Bob got his dad’s car. She’d just jump out.

HARVEY

    That’s right. I better change. I don’t want to be wearing this all day. (HE STARTS TO THE HALLWAY DOOR.)

BEV

    You’re going? You can’t just walk out and leave me alone with him.

HARVEY

    I’m just going to change is all.

II-7

GEORGE

    Well, la de dah. She’s taking his hand to get out. I can’t hardly believe that’s Diane.

BEV

    You’re never here when he comes in. I have to do all the talking.

HARVEY

    Just thought I’d get into something comfortable. I’ll be right out.

GEORGE

    They’re coming in. He said something and she’s laughing. You ever see how she’s always laughing with him. That’s all she does is laugh; laugh and laugh and laugh. She always laughing. And you know, you know what? It’s not like she’s really laughing either. You know that, mom.

BEV

    Get away from the window now. You can’t be staring out at them like that. What are they going to think?

II-8

GEORGE

I’m just looking is all.

BEV

(SHE LOOKS AROUND THE LIVING ROOM. SHE GOES IN, PICKS UP THE NEWSPAPER,) Georgie, help me pick up now. I don’t know why everybody leaves such a mess. (SHE STEPS TO THE END TABLE AND STRAIGHTENS THE MAGAZINES.)

GEORGE

    It’s George, mom.

BEV

    Never mind that. Pick up. It’s your mess.

GEORGE

    Not me. Those aren’t my orange peels. I know that. You want to know how I can tell? Huh, mom. You know how I know? (HE PICKS THEM UP.) It’s because I make just one peel, all the way around just like Doug does it. Must be Diane’s.

(THE PORCH DOOR SQUEAKS A BIT AS IT IS OPEN. FOOTSTEPS SOUND ON THE WOODEN FLOOR. OFF STAGE DIANE IS LAUGHING. “OH MILTON,

II-9

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU.” BEV LOOKS TO THE DOOR AND THEN TO THE BEER BOTTLE. QUICKLY SHE PICKS IT UP AND DROPS IT INTO THE BOTTOM DESK DRAWER. GEORGE FOLLOWS WITH THE ORANGE PEELS. THEY TURN AND STEP AWAY AS DIANE AND MILTON ENTER)

    (MILTON IS WEARING A SUIT, WHITE SHIRT AND TIE. HE HAS A FACE LIKE A SHINNY NEW APPLE. HE IS SMILING. DIANE WEARS A DRESS WITH LONG SLEEVES AND A COLLAR THAT IS BUTTONED UP AROUND HER NECK. SHE ISN’T FAR FROM BEING DRESSED LIKE AN AMISH GIRL. SHE WEARS NO MAKEUP AND HER HAIR IS STRAIGHT, PARTED AND SWISHED TO THE SIDES. THEY

APPEAR TO BE THE IDEAL CHURCH COUPLE. THEY STEP INTO THE LIVING ROOM AND STOP. DIANE HAS A BIG SMILE. GEORGE GOES TO THE COUCH AN SITS.)

DIANE

    Hello everybody. Guess who forgot to remember not to forget..

MILTON

    Forgot to remember? What was that? (MILTON GRINS AND LOOKS AT BEV EXPECTING

II-10

HER TO SMILE OR LAUGH WITH THE FUN HE AND DIANE ARE HAVING.)

DIANE

    Milton (SHE LAUGHS AND LIGHTLY SLAPS HIS ARM.) He’s always teasing me, mom. All the time; aren’t you? You are. But I must like it. Really, really I must.  We have so much fun. (SHE TURNS TO MILTON) Milton, I just don’t know what I’m going to do with you. (SHE LAUGHS.)

MILTON

    Do about me? Hmmm, I wonder now. Who said she’d bring along the quiz sheets? Wouldn’t have been you would it? (AGAIN HE

LOOKS AT BEV FOR HER TO SMILE ALONG WITH THEIR BANTER.

DIANE

    I know. I know; dumb dumb Diane. Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. I mean really. There I go forgetting again; and that Milton Breem is what you hate the most: forgetting. (DIANE SWALLOWS HARD AS SHE PREPARES TO TELL HER STORY. SHE PUTS HER TWO HANDS OUT AS IF ON A TYPEWRITER.)

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Here I spend all night typing them up..And..trying to decipher your handwriting Mister Milton Breem. All night, and who do you thinks forgets to bring them this morning? I don’t know how many times you told me “Don’t forget now Diane; right after the wedding we have to start mimeographing them.” How many times have I done something like that? I don’t know how much longer you’re going to put up with me. I really don’t.(SHE LAUGHS.) I think I’d forget my head if it wasn’t attached. I’m in such a dither. I don’t know how I’m going to make it to next Saturday. What dumb, dumb thing will I do next?

MILTON

    She’s got the days counted down to the hour, and then down to the minute even.

DIANE

    Oh no Milton. Don’t tell them that. (SHE PLAYFULLY SLAPS HIS ARM.) Everybody at Redeemer is teasing as it is. “How many days now Diane?” “How many hours, Diane?”
“Minutes,” ol Bruce says and they all laugh. They all tease me. Even Pastor Davis. I guess they all can see how excited I am. So there, you see: It’s all your

II-12

fault Mister Milton Breem. You should never have asked me to marry you.

MILTON

    How many minutes did you say that was? (HE MAKES A SHOW OF PUSHING BACK HIS SLEEVE AND LOOKING AT HIS WATCH. THEN HE LOOKS AT BEV AND GRINS.)

DIANE

    You see what I have to put up with? He’s always teasing.

MILTON

    And I have to put up with the quiz sheets not being there. Remember: noon. Six other Sunday school teachers have to mimeograph their quizzes. You know what happened last week.

DIANE

    Last Week? Do I remember? You were ready to get rid of me after that. And, I wouldn’t have blamed you either. I wouldn’t have, really. There we were with only a half an hour before class. “Where are my quizzes?” “The quizzes? Opps, opps.” Before

II-13

I know it, you’ll want Arlene back doing…but there I go again. Before I know it, I’ll forget why I came home.

MILTON

    Ah hem (HE IMITATES CLEARNING HIS THROAT.) The quizzes.

DIANE

Aye, aye sir. (SHE STIFFENS LIKE A SOLDIER AND GIVES A QUICK SULUTE.) I’m going right now. (DIANE MARCHES TO THE HALLWAY DOOR AND EXITS.)

    BEV STEPS BACK AS DIANE PASSES BY HER. SHE AND GEORGE WERE SIMPLY SPECTATORS LOOKING FROM ONE TO THE OTHER WITH REACTIONS TO THE PERFORMANCE. NOW BEV LOOKS DOWN AND REALIZES SHE STILL HAS ON HER WHITE GLOVES. SHE PULLS THEM OFF AS MILTON SPEAK.

MILTON

    She’s so excited. Mom says she never saw a girl so thrilled with her wedding. She can hardly stand still for her to make the altercations.

II-14

BEV

    Oh, oh, she has a dress. I was wondering when…

MILTON

    It’s mom’s wedding dress. Diane fell in love with it when Mom showed it to her. You’d have thought the white would have faded a bit over the years. But it is as pure white as the day Mom wore it down the aisle. All they needed to get was the veil. Oh, and Diane’s a little shorter, so Mom has to hem it up. “Shorty” she called Diane. It was just a joke. They get along wonderfully well. You know Mrs. Raauch, Mom thinks Diane is tops. She does. She told me to tell you that you can be very proud of her.

BEV

    Proud…Of course. I’m proud of all…

MILTON

    (HE TURNS TO GEORGE SUCH THAT GEORGE JUMPS BACK.) And you, young man. I should have a few words with you.

II-15

GEORGE

    Me?

MILTON

    (HE PUTS HIS FINGER UNDER HIS CHIN AND SCRATCHES WITH MOCK PUZZLEMENT.) Now, what was that little promise you gave me?

GEORGE

    Promise? What promise?

MILTON

    I thought, or did a little bird tell me you were going to start coming to our Sunday School. It wasn’t from you I heard that, was it? No, it couldn’t have been from you, could it?

GEORGE

    I guess I forgot.

MILTON

    Forgot? Just so JESUS doesn’t forget you. Would you want JESUS to forget you? Hmmm. You forgot about HIM.

II-16

GEORGE

    I don’t know.

MILTON

    (HE LEANS DOWN.) You know JESUS is your best friend. He would never forget about you Jimmy, never. But if you forget about HIM, JESUS, HE will forget about you. You don’t want that do you?

GEORGE

    Oh.

BEV

    Well, he has been….

MILTON

    (NOT HEARING HE CONTINUES TO TALK.) At Redeemer we’ll show you God’s way. You want to live in God’s way don’t you, hmmm, little man. (HE PATS GEORGE ON HIS HEAD, LOOKS TO BEV AND SMILES PROUD TO SHOW HER HOW HE SPOKE TO GEORGE. THEN HE LOOKS AT THE HAND HE HAD ON GEORGES HEAD, AND WIPES IT AGAINST HIS OTHER HAND.)

BEV

    Well…actually…(SHE CLEARS HER THROAT AS SHE IS ABOUT TO TELL A LIE.) Trinity is

II-17

our church. George has been going to Sunday school there. Haven’t you Georgie?

GEORGE

    Huh? Oh, yeah I guess.

MILTON

    Oh, you didn’t tell me you already go; you little rascal you.

BEV

    Trinity has been our church for years now, ever since we bought the house. Janet was just a toddler then and it was just the right walking distance. It was so pleasant. I, I mean we, Harvey and I took her in the stroller every Sunday. She was in Sunday school even before she started Kindergarten. She was.(BEV LOOKS TO THE WINDOW BECAUSE THERE IS THE SOUND OF FOOTSTEPS ON THE SIDEWALK.) Maybe that is them now, Janet and Doug. They were going to stop by. They just wanted to go home first and change. That’s not them is it Georgie?

GEORGE

    (HE TURNS, KNEELS ON THE CUSHION AND LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW.) No, mom. But you’d

II-18

know if it was them. You’d hear his car. He’s got Hollywoods.

BEV

    You haven’t met them yet, have you?

MILTON

    Oh yes, I did. After the wedding; Diane introduced us. Lovely children.

BEV

    Yes, they are, aren’t they? Janet had them dressed so sweet. And they were so well behaved; the whole ceremony; Ceil acted up only once there. I wonder what is taking Diane so long.

MILTON

    Hmmm, I wonder if she forgot to remember where she put the quizzes.(HE GRINS AT BEV EXPECTING HER TO ENJOY THE FUN HE WAS HAVING WITH DIANE.)

    (DIANE ENTERS FROM THE HALLWAY DOOR. SHE IS CARRYING A FOLDER.)

DIANE

    (FAKE ANGER.)I heard that Mister Milton Breem. I heard that. No, I didn’t forget to remember where I put them.

II-19

MILTON

    Oh, oh, I think I better run for cover. (HE FEIGHS COVERING HIS HEAD AND THEN GRINS AT BEV AGAIN EXPECTING HER TO SMILE WITH THE FUN THEY HAVE. DIANE LAUGHS AND SLAPS HIS ARM.)

DIANE

    You see mom; this is what it’s like every day at YFC; Everyday. You know people think that because Redeemer is so strict, can’t wear lipstick and know how to dress, that we don’t have fun. They don’t know how wrong they are, do they? Do they Milton?

MILTON

That is right. And that is why your little brother here would really like our Sunday School. We have fun there too. But, he is already going. He never told me when I got that little promise; did you Tommy?

DIANE

    Milton, Tommy is Janet’s. My brother is Georgie.

GEORGE

    It’s George, Diane.

II-20

DIANE

    I know Georgie; I said Georgie didn’t I? I know you’re not Tommy, silly. Milton got them mixed up. Kitty, Tommy and Ceil; that’s Janet’s three, and Georgie here is my little brother.

GEORGE

    It’s George, Dinnie. Not Georgie. And I’m already going to Sunday school…at Tiffanys.”

MILTON

    Tiffanys?

BEV

    No,no…he…he ah…Well, that’s the name of his Sunday school teacher. Georgie, George, I really think you should get out of the suit now. You have to have it nice for tonight. Go now.

    (GEORGE GETS OFF THE COUCH AND RUNS TO THE HALLWAY DOOR AND EXITS)

BEV

    We’ll be going to the reception tonight, and you know how he is. Before you know it, he’ll have something spilled on it. But Diane, you’re still not going?

II-21

DIANE

    Oh no, mom.

MILTON

    We have plans. We’ll be picking out the hymns for our wedding.

DIANE

    Mrs. Strussenoff – our organist, you know – she is already mad at us, or I guess really me. She says we should have had them picked out last week already. But I can never decide. First I want this one and then I change my mind. I like another one. Milton and his mother have theirs picked out. But me? I know: there I go again.

MILTON

    She’s given us the ultimatum. (HE MIMICS THE ORGANIST STERN WARNING, WAGGING HIS FINGER AS HE DOES.) Tonight, or else. You have to know Mrs. Straussenoff to know what that means.

BEV

    I just thought I’d ask again. It is family you know. And Diane, you really haven’t told me anything about your

II-22

wedding. You’re told me nothing, not really. And now it’s only a week away.

DIANE

    Oh mom, I told you everything. I know I did. I must have. Who haven’t I told. (SHE LAUGHS.) Pastor Davis says I’m like a little bee buzzing away, telling everybody.

MILTON

    And holding out her hand like so.

DIANE

    Milton, I don’t do that. (SHE LAUGHS AND SLAPS HIS ARM.) Well, maybe I do; sometimes. (SHE HOLDS OUT HER HAND TO SHOW THE RING.) And in one week I’ll be Mrs. Milton Breem, la de dah see mom, see Milton. I’m so excited I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the week.

MILTON

    (HE PUTS HIS HANDS ON DIANES SHOULDRS.) We’re hold you steady, don’t worry, holding you steady. You’ll make it. But right now, I think we better make it to the church basement if I expect to get them printed out for my Sunday school class. I’m not going to let them get by without a quiz;

II-23

not two weeks in a row. Oh no. (HE TAKES THE FOLDER FROM DIANE.)

DIANE

    Those poor kids. Last week one even came up to me and thanked me. Well, off we go.

    DIANE AND MILTON EXIT OUT THE FRONT DOOR. FOOTSTEPS SOUND ON THE WOODEN FLOOR. THE PORCH DOOR SHUTS. “OH MILTON” DIANE SAYS AND LAUGHS. BEV SHAKES HER HEAD AND SIGHS.

    (FROM THE HALLWAY DOOR HARVEY POKES OUT HIS HEAD, LISTENS AND THEN HE ENTERS. HE WEARS HIS GREEN WORK PANTS AND A SHORT SLEEVE SHIRT.)

BEV

    And you just happened to come out now.

HARVEY

    Did they leave?

BEV

    Like you didn’t know; you were hiding there in the hallway waiting for them to leave. Well, I hope you heard them. You’ll be going to the wedding rehearsals all this week.

II-24

HARVEY

    Rehearsals? What do you mean? I don’t have to go to wedding rehearsals.

BEV

    You saw Frank this morning. Fathers walk their daughters down the aisle, and you have practice that. Frank had to go at least three times.

HARVEY

    She never said anything to me. No, no, I don’t think she even wants me to walk her down the aisle. She would have said something by now. It’s only a week away.

BEV

    Okay, maybe not. I don’t know. But you left me here to face him all by myself. So when Bobby comes knocking at the door – I’ve seen him walk by the house enough – you can be the one to tell him Diane’s getting married.

HARVEY

    Me, how would I? You mean he doesn’t know.

II-25

BEV

    How would he; it’s happening so fast. I think that was him who hung up yesterday, something just told me it was him. He wanted her to answer. And he’s been walking by. You know one of these times he’s going to be knocking on the door. You can be the one to answer the door and tell him how you gave your blessings.

HARVEY

    Wait, oh no. You can’t put that on me. I had no idea what he wanted. I thought maybe he had a flat tire and needed a lug wrench or something. I mean you see it in movies about years ago, but what guy asks the dad for the daughter’s hand? Really? Who does that? I just stood there, maybe I nodded. I don’t know. Yeah, well many I did say yeah okay or something. My blessings?

BEV

    You could have told him it was too soon. She’s barely out of high school. And how long have they even known each other? What? Two months. You should have said……

HARVEY

    I wish I would have. It just took me by surprise and then Diane was hugging me and

II-26

saying thank you. I was just (HE SHRUGS AND PUTS HIS HANDS OUT.)

BEV

    I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be taking it out on you. I’ve tried to talk to her, but she’s in that oh so happy mood. And there he was, standing right there, telling me how his mother says how I should be proud of her. ”Mom thinks she’s tops”. How do you like that?  And they’re so close. She going to wear his mother’s wedding dress.

    (FROM THE STREET COMES THE SOUND OF A CAR WITH A LOUD MUFFLER. GEORGE ENTERS FROM THE HALLWAY DOOR. HE WEARS A POLO SHIRT AND LONG PANTS)

GEORGE

    That’s Doug. (HE RUNS TO THE COUCH, KNEELS ON IT TO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW.)

BEV

    Janet, she said she’d be coming. Well I better go change myself. (BEV EXITS OUT THE HALLWAY DOOR.)

    (THE LOUD ENGINE SHUTS OFF. CAR DOORS SLAM. “KITTY DON’T RUN NOW. WHAT DID I TELL YOU. DOUG, GET THE KIDS NOW. I’M GOING IN.”

II-27

THE PORCH DOOR CREAKS AS IT OPENS.)

    GEORGE IS OFF THE COUCH AND RUNS TO THE FRONT DOOR AS JANET ENTERS. SHE WEARS JEANS AND A BLOUSE. GEORGE RUNS INTO HER. SHE GRABS HIM.

JANET

    Run over me will yeh. Huh Georgie boy. (SHE WRAPS HER ARMS AROUND HIM AND TUSSLES HIS HAIR.)

GEORGE

    (HE PULLS AWAY AND PATS HIS HAIR BACK.) Gezz Janet, I’m not a little kid you know. And it isn’t Georgie. It’s George. G-E-O-R-G-E. George.

JANET

    (SHE GRABS HIM AND AGAIN AND MESSES HIS HAIR.) You’re still Georgie to me. (SHE LETS HIM GO. GEORGE TURNS AND EXITS OUT THE FRONT DOOR. JANET LAUGHS AND TURNS TO HARVEY.) George, call him George now. Hi daddy. Out of the suit and tie already, huh. I knew that’d be the first thing you’d do.

II-28

HARVEY

    I guess you know me, huh Snooks. Yeah, I had to get into something comfortable. But I’ll just have dress up again tonight.

JANET

    Doug had to go home a change too. He says the suit makes him feel like an undertaker. (SHE SMILES, STEPS UP TO HARVEY, PUTS HER RIGHT HAND UP TO DANCE WITH HIM.) You all set for tonight? Got your dancing shoes all shinned up. (HE TAKES HER HAND AND SHE DANCES HIM TO A TURN AND THEN STEPS BACK.)I’m going to get Doug out there on the dance floor this time. I’ve been teaching him. Wait and see. (SHE WALKS INTO THE DINNING ROOM AND SEES THE COOKIES GEORGE LET ON THE TABLE.) Oh good, cookies. (SHE PICKS ONE UP AND BITES INTO IT. SHE PICKS UP ANOTHER NAD OFFERS IT TO HARVEY.) What one?

HARVEY

    Don’t mind if I do. (HE TAKES IT FROM HER AND THEY BOTH EAT.)

JANET

    Hmm, peanut butter; mom makes the best cookies. The best. That’s what Jill use to say. Cookies and milk, Jill, Di and I

II-29

sitting right here making a mess, playing cards: seven-up, crazy eights, double solitaire.

HARVEY

    That’s right. Mom and I were just saying how Jill was like part of the family. We’d take her fishing with us. Remember that. I got her the straw hat and the cane pole just like you and Di.

JANET

    She used to come right in and wake me up in the morning. I mean six o’clock, shake me, “Snooks, Snooks,” she called me that too. “Come on get up.” She had to be out when Teddy Erickson was still on his paper route. I had to be out there with her so it wouldn’t look like she was just out there to see him. What another cookie? No, well I’m having another. (SHE TAKES A BITE. SWALLOWS.) If they wouldn’t have moved out there, I think she would have ended up with him too. I do. I would have been her brides maid for sure then. She wanted me today, you know. She asked last summer. But Aunt Dorothy had her own plans. Who knows I might be pregnant again. There’s pregnant brides maids I bet. Just got to let the

II-30

waist out a little. But how’d you like having a mom like that? Ol Teddy wouldn’t have been good enough. (JANET SEES THE FLOWERS IN THE BOWL AND PICKS THEM UP.) She gave me a little bouquet like this too. I don’t think she was supposed to do that. But she did. They look so real, you want to smell them. But, you know what? I knew they weren’t real. You know how? Look, you can see the wire coming from the stems.

HARVEY

     I guess everybody else knew, but I thought they were real.

JANET

    (SHE PICKS UP THE LAST COOKIE.) You sure you don’t want this. It’s the last one. No. Well, I’ll eat it. (SHE EATS HALF AND PUT IT DOWN.) I really shouldn’t be eating these. Doug says I’m getting fat.

HARVEY

    No, you’re not getting fat. Where does he come up with that?

JANET

    He sees me naked, dad.

II-31

HARVEY

    Oh, yeah. Okay

JANET

    (SHE LIFTS UP HER SHIRT AND PATS HER BELLY.) Of course, there could be a reason for that.

HARVEY

Wait, you’re not…

JANET

    (SHE LAUGHS.) You should see the look on your face. No, daddy, I was just teasing.

HARVEY

    Yeah, well you had me going there. Three’s enough, don’t you think; I mean for awhile anyway.

JANET

    I don’t know, dad. It’s over two almost three years now. Maybe I should start again. (SHE RUBS HER TUMMY AGAIN AND LOOKS FOR HARVEY REACATION AND LAUGHS.) No, three is good. And you don’t have to worry. Doug’s taking care of everything. Mom told

II-32

you, didn’t she? Doug’s going to the drug store now.

HARVEY

    Oh, yeah. Okay.

JANET

    It’s the only way, the only way that really works. I learned that alright. Birth control, rhythm all that stuff doesn’t work. I got three friends; Brenda, the girl next door all with big stomachs and they were doing that. Shows you how it works, doesn’t it.

HARVEY

    Come on Snooks, do we have to talk about it? That stuff you talk about with your mother.

JANET

    Doug even keeps one in his wallet.

HARVEY

    What?

JANET

    You know; a rubber. I saw it there, the foil and all. So I asked him why he’s got one in his wallet and he tried to act dumb

II-33

about it.”Oh, I didn’t know I had one there.” Well, he did and he never took it out either.

HARVEY

    He plays dumb: Janet you know why guys…we got a couple of those young hot shots at work who do that. They call it their spare; in case of emergences. Like a spare tire they joke like they can really get the……What am I talking about? No, no Janet we don’t want to talk about things like that.

JANET

    It’s just talk dad. We’re just talking. And don’t worry; I know why he keeps that rubber in his wallet. What I’m worried about is when; like when we’re driving somewhere. You don’t know how he is.

    (BEV ENTERS FROM THE HALLWAY DOOR. SHE IS WEARING HOUSE DRESS. HARVEY DOESN’T SEE HER.)

HARVEY

    Yeah, okay Snooks. I don’t like talking about it, okay. Rubber, safties, it’s just

II-34

something you don’t talk about with your dad.

BEV

    Safties, Rubbers, that’s not what I’m thinking is it? What are you talking about those for?

HARVEY

    Nothing, it was nothing.

JANET

    I told daddy where I just saw one.

BEV

    Just saw one? On my God, where? (ALARMED, BEV LOOKS THIS WAY THAT.) Where? Harvey, you don’t think Georgie was in your dresser.

JANET

    You and daddy use them too?

HARVEY

    I’m going….going to see how the kids like the swing, huh, yeah. (HARVEY EXITS OUT THE KITCHEN DOOR.)

II-35

BEV

    (AS HARVEY WALKS OUT)You’re going to have to talk to him, Harvey.

JANET

    Mom, it was in Doug’s wallet.

BEV

    Why would he have one there?

JANET

    It’s for emergencies; like a spare tire. You don’t know how Doug is. We could be somewhere.

BEV

    Oh no. (BEV STEPS BACK AND TILTS HEAD SIDEWAYS TO LOOK AT JANET’S STOMACH.) You’re not pregnant are you?

JANET

    No, mom. I just told you the other day I wasn’t.

BEV

    No, you didn’t.

II-36

JANET

    I did. Every time I see you, you ask me so I must have. “You’re not pregnant are you,” and you look at me like you just did now. (JANET LIFTS HER SHIRT AND PATS HER BELLY) Does it look like it? I’m getting a little fat. Everybody does. But I’m not p.g.mom.

BEV

    I was just asking. There’s no harm in asking is there? You don’t have to get mad about it, sweetheart. Besides, I’ve got enough to worry about with your sister and that wedding of hers.

JANET

    “Wedding of hers”, why do you say it like that?

BEV

    I didn’t say it any way. I just said her wedding. You know Diane isn’t going to the reception tonight.

JANET

    No mom, why wouldn’t she go.

II-37

BEV

    Why? The whole thing, dancing, drinking it’s against his religion and I guess her’s too. Too much touching when you dance. She told me it’s sinful.

JANET

    Too much touching; she’s a little late with that. You didn’t see them when we had her baby sit New Years Eve. I never told you this, but she had Bobby over. We came home early and you should have seen them. And now she won’t dance?

BEV

    Bob was there. I knew it. I told her she couldn’t have him. I told her. And she said I didn’t have to worry. I should have known. But they weren’t …I mean, you know.

JANET

    No, not that. But her lipstick was all over his face. Doug, of course, made a lot more of it than it was. You know how he is. But it was nothing.

II-38

BEV

    I guess I should be glad she’s with somebody like Milton. At least I know none of that is going on. But…

JANET

    But what? Mom, she’s so much in love with Milton. I never heard her talk about Bobby that way. Love at first sight; that’s what she told me. And the way she shows off his ring. I’m happy for her. You know how hard she took Bob? He just left her; left her, and then he drives by in his dad’s car with other girls just to show her. Nice, real nice.  

BEV

    I see Bobby walking by the house, looking this way. I know he’s going to be knocking on the door. He called on the phone too, I’m sure it was him.

JANET

    You haven’t told her, have you?

BEV

    Well, no.

II-39

JANET

    Good. You know Doug sees him up at the drug store. He’s just hanging around; I think he thinks Diane might come up there. Oh yeah, after he dumped her. But he had the nerve to asked Doug how Diane was. If was me he asked, I would have told him where to get off. Oh, or better, how happy she is now. She’s getting married.

BEV

    I just hope he doesn’t come knocking on the door. I don’t want to be the one to tell him that.

JANET

    I’ll tell him. That’d be no problem for me.

BEV

    I hope you are here when he does. I always liked Bobby.(SHE SIGHS.) Well let’s  go see if I can find that jewelry. I don’t know even if I have it anymore.

JANET

Hope you do. It’ll be fun. We use to play dress up with them. You think she’ll remember when she sees them.

II – 40

BEV

    I’m sure she will. Oh and, I even hate to say this. You see how Diane dresses now. Everything has to be covered. She told me she won’t be wearing any of those jeans or shorts, all those nice outfits of hers.

JANET

Really? Then she wouldn’t mind if I took them. Her jeans might be a little tight– I have put on a little weight – but Doug says he likes them tight.

BEV

    I suppose he would, wouldn’t he.

JANET

    You don’t have to say it like that.

BEV

    I didn’t say it anything; just “I suppose he would.” (SHE STARTS TO THE HALLWAY DOOR.)

JANET

    (SHE FOLLOWS)It isn’t all he’s got on his mind, you know. He’s just healthy, that’s all. He’s just really healthy.

II-41

BEV

    I never say anything about that.

JANET

    You do too. It’s just little remarks like that. And you’re always looking at me sideways to see if my belly’s sticking out.

    (BEV AND JANET EXIT)

    (THE STAGE IS EMPTY FOR A SHORT TIME. THEN DOUG ENTERS FROM THE KITCHCH DOOR. HE IS ATHLETICALLY BUILT AND WEARS A TEE SHIRT AND BLUE JEANS BOTH OF WHICH ARE TIGHT ENOUGH TO SHOW HIS BODY. HE HAS A FLAT TOP HAIRCUT THAT WAS THE STYLE OF MOST ATHLETES IN THIS ERA. IN THE DOORWAY,DOUG STOPS LOOKS BACK AND LISTENS. HEARING NOTHING, HE SMILES. AT THE DINNING ROOM TABLE HE SEE THE FLOWERS, PICKS THEM UP, TOUCHES THE PETALS AND IS ABOUT PUT THEM TO HIS NOSE WHEN HE REALIZES THIS IS UNMANLY. HE PUTS THEM BACK, AND LOOKS QUICKLY AND IS RELIEVED THAT NOBODY WAS THERE TO SEE HIM DO THIS. HE GOES INTO THE LIVING ROOM, SEES THE NEWSPAPERS ON THE DESK, SORTS THROUGH AND PULLS OUT THE SPORTS SECTION.

II-42

DOUG

    Here we go. (HE SITS ON THE COUCH, OPENS THE PAPER, SLAPS IT A FEW TIMES TO FLATTEN IT AND SETTLED BACK TO READ. HIS FACE IS BEHIND THE PAPER. GEORGE ENTERS FROM THE KITCHEN DOOR. HE CARRIES A UNFORMED CARDBOARD COLORED BASEBALL GLOVE AND A SCUFFFED UP BASEBALL. HE IS PANTING.)

GEORGE

    I knew it. I knew you must have come in here. You know how I knew? Huh, huh, Doug?(HE WAITS. DOUG DOESN’T ANSWER.) You didn’t shut the gate because you knew I’d hear it click. Then you went around the other side of the house and come in the back door. You thought I’d think you went out to your car. You were trying to ditch me, huh?

DOUG

    (HE LOWERS THE PAPER ENOUGH TO LOOK AT GEORGE.) Figured that out, huh Georgie.

GEORGE

    George, remember? It’s not Georgie. How’d you like it if somebody called you Dougie? (IN A HIGHER TONE OF VOICE, IMITATING A GIRL) Hi Dougie. How’d you like that?

II-43

DOUG

    I don’t know. That would depend on whether it was a guy or a girl. Dougie might mean something with a woman: Hi Dougie. Oh yeah, that could mean something.(HE GRINS AND THEN REALIZES GEORGE IS JUST A BOY.) Never mind, you wouldn’t.. Let me read now. (HE LIFTS THE PAPER UP.)

GEORGE

    I know what you mean. If a girl called you Dougie, then that’d mean she liked you, huh, like you and Janet. But I never heard Janet call you Dougie. Does she call you Dougie at home?

DOUG

    (LOWERS THE PAPER TO LOOK AT GEORGE.) No, Georgie. She calls me Doug. Okay? Okay, good. (LIFT THE PAPER UP AGAIN.)

GEORGE

    It’s George.

DOUG

    (FROM BEHIND THE PAPER) George, okay George. I got it.

II-44

GEORGE

    I bet you didn’t look in your trunk either.

DOUG

    I did. It wasn’t there. Must have left it at home.

GEORGE

    How come I didn’t hear your trunk slam then. I would have heard it.

DOUG

    (HE LOWERS THE PAPER.) Yeah, well I remembered I didn’t have it. Remembered just before I was going to look.

GEORGE

    You just don’t want to play catch, I bet. Huh?

DOUG

    (HE LAYS THE PAPER ON HIS KNEES.) Yeah, well there’s nothing like watching you chase the ball down the alley. You know what I mean?

II-45

GEORGE

    You missed a lot too, you did. (GEORGE TOSSES THE BALL INTO HIS GLOVE AND IT ROLLS OUT TO THE FLOOR. HE PICKS IT UP)

DOUG

    You got to throw it, you know, somewhere where the other guy is. How about it George… See, I’m saying George now. Let me read the sports here.

    (DOUG LIFT THE PAPER TO HIS FACE. GEORGE STANDS AND TOSSES THE BALL IN HIS GLOVE. IT ROLLS OUT ONCE AND AGAIN AND HE PICKS IT UP. THERE IS THE SOUND OF FOOTSTEPS ON THE SIDEWALK.)

GEORGE

    I bet I know who that is. (HE GOES TO THE COUCH AND BESIDE DOUG KNEELS ON THE CUSHION TO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW.) Told yah. It’s Tooty France, and she’s with Margaret Dahlgood.

DOUG

    (HE PUTS THE PAPER DOWN AND TURNS TO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW.) I think I heard of her. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Look at the bod on her. Oh yeah and she likes to let you know

II-46

about it. Hey, hey that’s right, that’s my car there.

GEORGE

    I knew it was her. She always walks up and down the street. Guys stop and she goes over and talks, sometimes she gets in their car.

DOUG

    (HE DOESN’T HEAR GEORGE) You like the car, huh? Sure, go ahead, take your time. That’s right babe; it’s all yours.

GEORGE

    Margaret Dahlgood, she’s the one Diane saw when Bob drove by in his dad’s car. He did it, you know, so she’d get jealous. But she just lives right next door to him. I bet he’s sorry now though. I see him walk by the house, right across the street there and he keeps looking.

DOUG

    That’s right, run your hand over it. You like it alright. You can get in anytime. Anytime. I’ll show you how the ol gear shift works.(HE MAKES LIKE HE IS SHIFTING GEARS BUT WITH HIS PALM UP LIKE HE IS SQUEEZING HER ASS. THEN HE NOTICES

II-47

GEORGE LOOKING AT HIM.)Hey, just talking about the car there, George.

GEORGE

    I bet you were talking guy talk, huh? I know what you were really saying too.

DOUG

    What you talking about; talking about my car is all. (HE MOVES HIS HEAD CLOSER AND THEN AGAINST THE WINDOW AS WATCHES THE GIRLS WALK AWAY. HE SIT BACK THE WAY HE WAS.) I guess she liked the Chevy, huh?

GEORGE

    You just think I’m a little kid. But I’m going to be drinking beer tonight. My cousin Brad says he can get it because his dad is paying for everything.

DOUG

    Yeah, sure. Where’s your mom going to be, huh? Drink beer, ha. (DOUG PICKS UP THE PAPER AGAIN.) How about it; let me read the sports here. I didn’t get a chance this morning.

II-48

GEORGE

    (HE IS STILL KNEELING BESIDE DOUG AND HE LOOKS OVER DOUG’S SHOULDER.) Reading about the baseball game last week?

DOUG

    Last week? What was the game last week? They play baseball everyday. It’s not football Georgie.

GEORGE

    George.

DOUG

    George.

GEORGE

    I saw it on television. We went out to see our cousins and they got a television. They’ve had one for three years now, ever since they moved out there.

DOUG

    Who did you see play. What teams were they?

II-49

GEORGE

    I don’t know. But it was really neat. One guy hit a run home and you could see the ball go way over the wall.

DOUG

    That’s a home run, not a run home.

GEORGE

    I know. Brad thinks he knows all about it. He plays on a team. They got uniforms and hats like real players. So he thinks that makes him real good. His catching mitten’s got some guys name on it. That’s stupid. It doesn’t make him catch any better.

DOUG

    Come on now; it’s a glove, not a catching mitten. That sounds like kiddy game. It’s a glove, Georgie.

GEORGE

    George.

DOUG

    George.

II-50

GEORGE

    I told him you use to hit run homes all the time. You even had your picture in the paper. That’s how good you were.

    DOUG

    Yeah, I was pretty good. But it’s not run homes; Home runs. Brad has to think you don’t know anything about the game if you talk like that.

GEORGE

    Oh yeah. Well, I don’t care about baseball anyway. I like football. I’m going to do that. I’m going to be a football player like you. You were really good too.

DOUG

    High school, yeah. I was alright.

GEORGE

    Diane’s got that picture of you on her wall showing you carrying the ball and jumping over that guy. That’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to take the ball jump over guys. (GEORGE GETS OFF THE COUCH AND IMATATES HOLDING THE FOOTBALL AND HE MOVES HIS SHOULDERS LIKE HE IS RUNNING. A CAR DOOR SLAMS AND GEORGE IS BACK KNEELING

II-51

ON THE COUCH AS HE LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW.) Diane’s back.

    (DOUG PUTS ASIDE THE PAPER, TURNS AND LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW WITH GEORGE.)

GEORGE

    Look it, look it; she’s not getting out of the car. She just sits there. She’s going to wait for him to open the door for her. Isn’t that something, huh? I saw it before. He’s coming around now. There yousee he’s opening the door for her. (A PAUSE) Oh, la de dah; she’s holding out her hand for him. Look. I can’t believe that’s Diane. Ha.

DOUG

    Yeah, he’s being a gentleman. That’s  what. A guy’s suppose to do that.

GEORGE

    You never do it for Janet.

DOUG

    No, well…

II – 52

GEORGE

    Ah, ha. Look. He slammed her dress in the door. Ha, now he’s trying to pull it out. Look at em. He doesn’t even know to open the door again. He’s going to rip it. That’s what she gets for waiting for him.

DOUG

    (DOUG TURNS AWAY.)Let them be.

GEORGE

    Here comes Tooty France again.

DOUG

    (QUICKLY HE TURNS BACK TO THE WINDOW.) Oh yeah, there she is, all on her lonesome now. Hey there. She walking right by them; oh yeah he can get a real good look there. (DOUG BACKS HIS HEAD AWAY.) What?  He’s looking the other way. He’s going to miss her. Nice close look too. Oh yeah.

GEORGE

    What do you mean?

DOUG

    What? Oh, nothing, didn’t mean anything, just talking you know. They’re coming in. (HE TURNS AWAY AGAIN.)

II -53

GEORGE

    (HE JUMPS OFF THE COUCH.) I’m getting out of here. He wants me to go to Sunday school and talks to be like I’m a little kid. He doesn’t even know my name; calls me Jimmy. Jimmy.

    (GEORGE RUNS TO THE KITCHEN DOOR AND EXITS.)

    (DOUG PICKS UP THE PAPER. OFF STAGE DIANE’S VOICE. “BYE, NOW. BYE.” SHE LAUGHS. “NO, I KNOW. I WON’T FORGET TO REMEMBER.” THE PORCH DOOR CREAKS OPEN. FOOTSTEPS SOUND ON THE WOOD FLOOR. A CAR DOOR SLAMS AND AN ENGINE STARTS.)

(DIANE ENTERS FROM THE FRONT DOOR.)

DIANE

    Dougie, is that you behind the paper?

DOUG

    (HE PUTS DOWN THE PAPER) Hey there Di. Couldn’t you tell by this big arm here.(HE CROOKS HIS ARM TO SHOW HIS MUSCLE) Who’s got muscles like this, huh?

DIANE

    (SHE LAUGHS) Not you now. Milton has me laughing all the time. He’s so funny. Just

II – 54

at the door now he told me “not to forget to remember”. No, I won’t forget. We’re picking out the hymns for our wedding tonight.

DOUG

    Tonight? But you’re going to the reception.

DIANE

    No, that’s not the kind of thing we do.

DOUG

    What do you mean? I’ve been practicing. Your sister had been teaching me all the steps and I’m doing pretty good. I think I got it all down. I thought I’d ask you for a dance.

DIANE

    Oh no Doug. It’s against our religion. Milton says dancing is, hum (SHE THINKS A MOMENT) well anyway, Milton knows just how to say it. (LOOKS DOWN AT HER DRESS) Sic, look at that. It got caught in the door. (DIANE PULLS OUT THE DESK CHAIR, SITS, LIFTS HER SKIRT A BIT TO LOOK AT THE SMUDGE.)

    (DOUG LOWERS AND TURNS HIS HEAD TO LOOK UP HER SKIRT. THEN HE GETS UP, STEPS OVER

II-55

TO HER AND PRETENDS TO BE INTERESTED IN THE SMUDGE.)

DOUG

    Yeah, that looks pretty bad. When I was playing ball, I’d get stains like this. (HE LIFTS THE HEM HIGHER TO EXAMINE IT AND PUTS HIS OTHER HAND JUST ABOVE HER EXPOSED KNEE. HE SQUEEZES IT.) Yeah, a little Hilex, maybe some lemon…(DIANE PUSHES HIS HAND OFF HER LEG AND PULLS DOWN HER DRESS.“DOUG” SHE SCOLDS LOUDLY. HE JUMPS BACK AND PUTS HIS HANDS OUT, PALMS FACING DIANE) What? I was just looking at the smudge.

DIANE

    Oh no Doug. I know you better than that. I know what you were thinking.

DOUG

    Thinking isn’t anything. I was just trying to help (HE SITS ON THE COUCH AGAIN.)

DIANE

    Thinking isn’t anything? You know that’s as bad as if you actually did what you’re thinking. That’s what the Bible says. You don’t know how serious we take that at Redeemer. Just last week a boy got

II-56

kicked out of YFC because he was looking at one of those magazines. You know the ones with the girls; naked girls. He said he was “Just looking.” “Just looking,” Milton said. “There’s no such thing as “just looking”. He’s the president, you know. No we don’t want his kind in our YFC Milton told him.

DOUG

    (HE GRINS.) So what do you think I was thinking.

DIANE

    No Doug, I’m serious. What do you think Janet would say?

DOUG

    Janet? Hey wait,wait now. You don’t have tell her anything. I was just…Hey, I was just being a gentleman. You know like your guy Milton there. He walks around the car and opens the door for you. I told Georgie “you see that? There’s a real gentleman.” That’s the way you treat a lady. That’s what I told him.

DIANE

    (SHE SMILES) I know, he is, isn’t he? Milton opens the door for me, helps me off

II-57

with my coat; at the table he pulls out the chair for me. He even pours my glass for me.

DOUG

    Nothing like Bob. I never saw him open a door for you.

DOUG

    Huh? Oh no. No Doug. Bob who? (SHE LAUGHS)

DOUG

    Bob who? That ugly old Hudson of his dads parked out there every Sunday noon, cane poles hanging out the back window. Going fishing or that’s what you told your mom. I can see the fishing you did, huh? Bob your old boyfriend Di.

DIANE

    Old boyfriend? (DIANE LAUGHS.) Doug, you’re so funny. You really are.(SHE LAUGHS AGAIN, SNIFFS AND RUBS HER NOSE.) I never had a boyfriend before. I didn’t. It’s always been Milton. Only Milton. Oh, oh, way back in the eighth grade there was Eddie Dorma. He only took me to the movies

II-58

once. And then the zoo. The zoo. He tried to hold my hand in front of the money cage.

DOUG

    Eddie Dorma, Eddie, oh yeah. I remember little Eddie.

DIANE

    Just Eddie , and I suppose the Sophomore dance…no…no that never happened. Milton is the only one. Ann Voring invited me to a YFC mixer and there he was: love at first sight. I’ve been on cloud nine or six whatever cloud it is ever since. I’m so happy walking around like this. (SHE OLDS OUT HER HAND SHOWING THE ENGAGEMENT RING.)

DOUG

    He didn’t waste any time, did he? What? Three weeks and he’s giving you the ring. I guess he’s got to be a big hurry, huh? (DOUG GRINS WITH WHAT HE IS IMPLYING WHICH IS TO HAVE SEX WITH DIANE. SHE DOESN’T CATCH HIS MEANING.)

DIANE

    Three weeks? That is funny. I mean it really is. Some people say, I know, I heard it so many times, we could hardly know each

II-59

other. But that’s just it, don’t you see? It’s because we hardly know each other that we know we really do. How could we know each other so well when it’s been so little time? You see it’s like it’s right from here.(DIANE PUTS HER HAND ON HER HEART.) Like we’ve known each other all our lives and didn’t know it until that moment. So simple when you think about it. Pastor Davis said God…(SHE THINKS A MOMENT) but I forgot how he put it. (SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH, LOOKS UP TO THE HEAVENS AND SIGHS.)It was so romantic; right in front of everybody, Milton brings down the gavel, rap, rap, rap, “And I have some new business” Milton said, very serious. He is the president of YFC, you know. New business, and then he takes out the little box and looks right at me: “Diane Raauch, will you marry me”. And there was the ring sparkling under the new fluorescent lights. It was so romantic. All the other girls screamed ah and oh and me with my mouth wide open. “Diane, Diane, he means you.” “Me” I said. I couldn’t believe it. “Me” I said again. “Yes, you” Milton said.“Say yes,” all the others said. “Say yes”. It took me just a minute, maybe two. “Yes, yes I’ll marry you,” and they all cheered and applauded. I could hardly catch my breath. Janie and Ann were hugging me, and Bruce, good old Bruce, he was shaking my hand and

II-60

grinning.(DIANE PUMPS HER ARMUP AND DOWN TO DEMONSTRATE THE HANDSHAKE. SHE LAUGHS AND THEN REFLECTS FOR A MOMENT.

    I did feel bad because Arleen Todd had to walk out. I could see she was crying. And then her sister Evelyn went after her. But really, you know it was her fault for thinking the way she did. Just because they’ve been JFC together for years and now, president and secretary; it didn’t mean they were a couple. She just took it the wrong way. Everybody thinks Milton and I make the perfect couple.

DOUG

    Right in front of everybody, the proposal; the whole thing?

DIANE

    The whole thing; it was the last thing I expected. But leave it up to Milton to come up with something so romantic. Leave it to Milton. He’s so cleaver. And he always knows just how to say things. “Well, mom, here she is; your future daughter-in-law.” That’s what he said. Right after; he rushed me over to his house.

II-61

DOUG

    Rushed right over to his house. Yeah, Okay. (HE SITS MORE ON THE EDGE OF HIS SEAT AND RUBS HIS HANDS TOGETHER.) Now, its making sense. How about that. I guess he does know what he is doing, huh Di? How’d you get rid of mom, huh? (DOUG GRINS, HIS MEANING IS OBVIOUS.)

DIANE

    Get rid of mom? Oh no, Doug. I know what you’re trying to say. I don’t know how you can even…I really. What did I say? You can’t even think it. Milton and I would never. No, oh no. We haven’t even kissed yet. We’re saving that.

DOUG

    Hey Di; it’s me, Doug. Do I look like your mom? You don’t have to fool me. I’m not telling anybody. Janet, but you know she wouldn’t say anything either. (HE CHUCKLES AS HE REMEMBERS.) How about it: New Years Eve, we came home a little too early; you and Bob all cozy on the couch. Yeah. But did ever tell your mom? You and Bob were really making …

II-62

DIANE

    (SHE INTERUPTS AND BLOCKS OUT “MAKING SOME HOT LOVE THERE”) No Doug. No, no, I never baby sat for you and Janet. Never, no never, Oh, oh But, oh yeah just when Kitty was a baby… oh and when Janet had Tommy. That’s all. No I never baby sat for you and Janet. I never

DOUG

    What’s the matter. What you getting all worked up for. I was saying about you and Bob.

DIANE

    (SHE PUTS HER HAND TO HER MOTH AND BURSTS OUT LAUGHING.) Oh Doug, you’re so funny. You are. (AND SHE LAUGHS MORE, BUT FOR ANYBODY NOT KNOWING IT IS SUPPOSE TO BE A LAUGH, IT COULD BE A CRY)

DOUG

    What’d I say? What’s funny?

(JANET ENTERS FROM THE HALLWAY DOOR. SHE SEES DIANE AND RUSHES TO HER, KNEELS AND PUTS HER HANDS ON DIANE’S SHOULDERS.)

II-63

JANET

    Diane, what’s the matter? Why are you crying? Doug, Doug.

DOUG

    I didn’t say anything.

JANET

    You didn’t huh? Damn it Doug. I told you not to say anything. I told you when we pulled up here: if Diane’s home, don’t say anything.

DIANE

    (AT THE SAME TIME AS DOUG) I’m not crying.

DOUG

    Tell her?

DIANE

    Janet, I’m laughing. Doug says the funniest things.

JANET

    No, Di you don’t have to protect him. Damn it Doug, I told you not to tell her Bob is asking about her. That’s the last thing she needs to know.

II-64

DIANE

    Janet, Janet, Doug didn’t say anything. I was laughing. I’m not crying. How could you think I’m crying? That didn’t look like crying. It’s laughing Janet. It’s laughing. I’m always laughing. It’s because I’m so happy.

JANET

    That’s okay Di, sweetheart. That’s okay. I warned him when we got here If Diane’s home, don’t you dare say anything about Bob. Don’t tell her he’s asking for her, that he’s up there where they use to hang out hoping she’ll come there for something.

DIANE

    (SHE SHOUTS.) Janet! (BUT JANET CARRIES ON.)

JANET

    Bob is gone, out of her life forever. Forever, Doug. She doesn’t need to hear anything about him. She’s got Milton now, head over heels in love with him. Don’t ruin if for her. Don’t be telling her Bob’s there at the drug store. Damn it Doug. It’s just not what she wants to hear. Isn’t that right Di? You don’t want to hear about Bob.

II-65

DIANE

    (LOUD AND ANGRY) Bob, Bob, Bob, why do you keep saying Bob? Janet, Damn it. I don’t know any Bob. What do you want to keep saying his name. It was Eddie Dorma. That was years…the eighth grade, we went to the zoo. I don’t know why you have to keep saying Bob. Okay, okay, maybe…it was just puppy love. That’s what it was…no, not even that. It wasn’t. I never knew any Bob. I never….Janet, Damn you. Damn you. You always think you’re making things better when you’re making them worse. You do. All the time, all the time. Damn it, and I’m not crying. I’m not crying…..I’m not…

    (DIANE BOLTS UP AND QUICKLY WALKS OUT AND EXITS OUT THE HALLWAY DOOR.)

JANET

    You see what you did now.

DOUG

    I didn’t do that. You heard her. You always make things worse. She was talking to you, not me.

II-66

JANET

    Oh that; she always has to bring that up: the strawberries.

DOUG

    Strawberries?

JANET

    She crawled through the hole in the fence and picked all Mrs. Dangle’s strawberries, all of them, and she had this great big bowl of them. She was just a little girl then. She didn’t know any better. So I had to quick flush them down the toilet before mom got home and saw them. She’d know where they came from. So I was saving Di. I’ve always protected her. That’s what big sisters are for. Anyway it was a big bowl and I should have flushed twice. That’s all. When mom went to the bathroom, she, well she nearly passed out. Dad had to put a cold wash clothe to her head.

DOUG

    That had to be quite a sight.

II-67

JANET

    She always has to bring it up. She forgets why I did it. What about all the other time I saved her. I better go to her.

    SHE GOES TO THE HALLWAY DOOR. BEV ENTERS FROM THERE, JANET STOPS. DOUG PICKS UP THE NEWPAPER AND LIFTS IT UP TO READ.

BEV

    What’s the matter with Diane? She looks like she’s been crying.

JANET

    She’s blaming me again, and I didn’t say anything. It was Doug. He had to go and tell her all about Bob: Bob asking about her, Bob up at the drug store. I told him not to say anything. I’ll go talk to her. I’ll make it alright.

BEV

    No, just let her be.

    (FROM THE HALLWAY DOOR, DIANE STEPS OUT.)

II-68

DIANE

    I was laughing mom, laughing. Doesn’t anybody see how happy I am? I’m getting married.

JANET

    That’s what I was saying. We didn’t need Doug to ruin it. (SHE LOOKS TO DOUG WHO STAYS BEHIND THE NEWSPAPER.)

DIANE

    Ruin what? Nothing changed. Nothing. I’m okay.(SHE PAUSES. LOOKS OVER TO DOUG.) But I did decide you are right mom. I should go to the reception. I mean just for a little while. It’s family.

BEV

    Oh good. I was going to say something again. That’s wonderful. Yes, Diane, it is family.

JANET

    There, good. No harm done.

DIANE

    I’ll have to call Milton. We were supposed to pick out our hymns tonight. I know, I know, It’ll be: there you go again,

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But Milton has been so patient with me. I don’t know how many things I’ve done and it’s okay. I’m sure he’ll understand. And I’m not going to be dancing or anything, nothing. I’m just going to stay a little bit. (SHE LOOKS TO DOUG AGAIN.)Maybe Doug can give me a ride back home.

JANET

    Doug? You’ll give Diane a ride home won’t you?

DOUG

    (From behind the newspaper) Yeah sure. whatever.

DIANE

    I better call now. We can pick out our hymns tomorrow, and I’ll know which ones this time.

BEV

What a relief that is. You know I think we need to take another look. I know that jewelry is there somewhere. (BEV AND JANET EXIT)

END OF ACT II

III-1

ACT III

    IT IS THE NEXT DAY, SUNDAY MORNING. BEV AND HARVEY ARE AT THE TABLE READING THE PAPER AND DRINKING COFFEE. THEY ARE DRESSED LIKE THE END OF ACT II. BEV FACES THE AUDIENCE SO THAT HER BACK IS TO THE HALLWAY DOOR. HARVEY FACES THE LIVING ROOM. THE SUNDAY PAPER WITH ITS DIFFERENT SECTIONS IS SPEAD OVER THE TABLE. THE BOWL WITH THE FLOWERS IS STILL THERE.

    (GEORGE ENTERS FROM THE HALLWAY DOOR. HE STEPS TO THE TABLE AND REACHES FOR THE COMICS.)

BEV

    You know George, we thought you went with Doug and Janet. That’s what you told us.

GEORGE

    They never came.

HARVEY

    Didn’t you ask them?

III-2

BEV

    I thought you said you did. You were so sure about it.

GEORGE

    I was going to ask and I forgot. (WITH THE COMICS, HE GOES TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TABLE AND SITS.)

BEV

    We didn’t even know you weren’t there. Brad asked where you were. “Well, isn’t he here,” I said. He said he didn’t see you. Then I asked Doug and he said he didn’t take you.

GEORGE

    I didn’t care anyway. I’d have had to be with Brad and he’s always bragging. He’s no fun. And I had the whole house to myself. That was neat.

HARVEY

    Why didn’t you just ride back with Doug when he brought Diane home. It was dark but still early.

II-3

GEORGE

    Doug would have laughed at me. I was in bed so when I heard his car, I quick turned of my light. He would have thought it real funny. But, ha, I heard them too. Diane couldn’t find her key.

BEV

    Her key? We never lock the doors. She knows that. Her key?

GEORGE

    She had it on her and Doug started to help her look and he and he….

THE DOOR BELL RINGS. GEORGE DOESN’T FINISH BEV AND HARVEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER.

BEV

    Oh no.

HARVEY

    What? Church people?

BEV

    No, has to be Bob, has to be. I knew he’d be knocking sooner or later.

II-4

HARVEY

    Oh Yeah, you said he might

BEV

    Why don’t you go to the door. You could just tell him….. just say she isn’t home.

HARVEY

    Me? Why me?

GEORGE

    I’ll go. (HE STARTS TO GET UP.)

BEV

    No, you sit down. I’ll go. (SHE GETS UP, STRAIGHTEND HER DRESS. I’ve been dreading this. But somebody has to tell him. I just don’t know how. I can’t just say she getting married. That’d be too fast. I have to put it some other way. Well…

SHE GOES TO THE FRONT DOOR, OPENS IT AND HER FOOTSTEPS ARE HEART OND THE WOODEN FLOOR OF THE PORCH. OFF STAGE MILTON’S VOICE IS NOT DISTINCT. “NO, I THOUGHT SHE WENT TO CHURCH ALREADY” ON THE PORCH NOW MILTON “MOM AND I WERE WAITING ON THE STEPS” A TRUCK RUMBLES BY. “WELL COME IN, I’LL SEE.” FOOTSTEPS ON THE WOOD FLOOR.

II-5

BEV ENTERS WITH MILTON FOLLOWING HER. HALF WAY ACROSS THE LIVINGROOM HE STOPS WHILE BEV GOES TO THE TABLE.

BEV

    Harvey, is Diane home?

GEORGE

    She’s still in bed.

BEV

    Still in bed? Why didn’t you tell us?

GEORGE

    You didn’t ask me.

BEV

    I thought for sure I heard her….Oh, you are home.

    (DIANE STEPS OUT FROM THE HALLWAY DOOR. SHE IS WEARING PAJAMA AND A ROBE WHICH SHE HUGS AROUND HERSELF. SHE ISN’T THAT LIVELY, ENERGETIC GIRL SHE WAS YESTERDAY. SHE IS CLUTCHING IN HER HAND THE ENGAGEMENT RING. HER MANNER IS CONCRITE.)

II-6

DIANE

    Mom.(SHE LOOKS OFF IN SUCH A WAY THAT SAYS SHE WANTS TO SPEAK ONLY TO MILTON.)

MILTON

    There you are. In your pajamas yet? You’re not sick are you?

DIANE

    No. (SHE GLANCES AT HER MOM AND DAD AS IF SHE DOESN’T WANT THEM TO HEAR. SHE WALKS TO MILTON. No, I’m not sick. It’s worse that that. I did something. (DIANE TIGHENS HER LIPS AS SHE MAKES HERSELF BRAVE. QUICKLY SHE HANDS HIM THE ENGAGEMENT RING.) And I know you will want it back. That’s all I can say.

MILTON

    What’s this; our engagement ring. (HE STARES DOWN AT THE RING NOW IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND.)

DIANE

    I thought about it all night. I couldn’t sleep. I know there IS no such thing as just looking. And it was worse than that. I knew you would have to have it back. I knew it. (SHE TURNS AND WALKS TO THE HALLWAY DOOR. MILTON STARTS AFTER HER.)

II-7

MILTON

    Diane, you mean. Oh no, no. You don’t understand. It wouldn’t matter what those monkeys were doing when that boy held your hand. (HE STOPS AS DIANE WHO HAS PUT HER HAND TO HER FACE APPEARING TO BE CRYING, EXITS OUT THE HALLWAY DOOR. MILTON STARES AFTER HER. THEN HE LOOKS AT BEV.) It’s the jitters. Everybody’s saying how excited she is. Mom said I should expect something like this. But, oh my, it is late and I have a Sunday school to teach. I have to go. I’ll call after. She’ll be over it by then. (MILTON TURNS AND EXITS OUT THE FRONT DOOR.)

BEV

    I think she just broke up with him. (BEV CAN’T KEEP HERSELF FROM SMILING.)

HARVEY

    Looks that way. (HE ALSO SMILES BUT LOOKS DOWN INTO HIS PAPER.)

GEORGE

    Good, now I won’t have to go to Sunday school. (A PAUSE.)Hear that? That’s Doug.

II-8

THE SOUND OF DOUG’S HOLLIWOOD MUFFLER GET LOUDER AND THEN STOPS. CAR DOORS OPEN AND SLAM SHUT. SECONDS LATER JANET SHOUTS “KITTY WAIT FOR DADDY” CHILDREN SHOUT. “DOUG, YOU’RE GOING BACK THERE THEM, AREN’T YOU.” GEORGE GET UP STARTS TO THE FRONT DOOR, HEARS JANET AND THEN TURNS AND GOES TO THE KITCHEN DOOR AND HE EXITS. A FEW MORE SECONDS AND FOOTSTEPS SOUND ON THE WOODEN PORCH FLOOR. JANET ENTERS THE FRONT DOOR. SHE WALKED TO THE DINING ROOM.

JANET

    Good morning, mom, daddy. I see you survived the reception. But, you know,l didn’t see Georgie. Where was he?

BEV

    He was right here. He told us he was riding with you. So we left him waiting for you.

JANET

    He never said anything to us.

BEV

    He could have gotten a ride when Doug brought Diane home, but he said he was glad to stay home. He didn’t have to be with

II-9

Brad all night. Brad’s always bragging. He’s on that baseball team now and Georgie says he keeps talking how good he is.

JANET

    Brad, Doug told me how Georgie said he and Brad were going to be drinking beer. So when I the brat, I walked over took the cup and smelled it. “This isn’t pop,” I told him and poured it out. I should have poured it over his head. If was Georgie, I would have. But I didn’t see him. Daddy, you looked like you were having a good time.

HARVEY

    Of course, I danced with you didn’t I?

JANET

    Oh no, dad, I was talking about Emily Corbus, once, twice how many times were you out there with her.

HARVEY

    It was just two times, and she was the one who asked me.

JANET

    Uh huh: I see she likes to stick them right into you.

II-10

HARVEY

    What to you mean? Come on Snooks, you shouldn’t be talking like that.

JANET

    Doug calls them her torpedoes.

BEV

    That’s enough of that, Janet. We just saw Diane break up with Milton. Just before you come. She gave him back his engagement ring.

JANET

    No mom; he brought her home from church. He was just leaving as we pulled up.

BEV

    She’s still in her pajamas. He didn’t bring her home. He came here looking for her. She came out in her pajamas and a robe and just handed back the ring. We were sitting right here. She said something about not looking. I don’t know. Harvey what was it she said. (HARVEY SHRUGS HE DIDN’T KNOW.)  And he said something about monkeys. Whatever that was. She just turned and walking away, left him just standing

II-11

there. She’ll get over it, he said and he left. That’s when you saw him.

JANET

    It had to be just a lovers quarrel. I should go talk to her. (AS JANET STEPS TO THE HALLWAY DOOR, DIANE COMES OUT.) Oh, there you are. Mom says you gave Milton the engagement ring back. Di?

DIANE

    I had to.

JANET

    You had to?

DIANE

    He would have made me give it back. So I did.

JANET

    What are you talking about?

DIANE

    It’s the way it is Janet. He’d want it back. (DIANE TURNS TO HARVEY.) Daddy, can have a couple dollars.

II-12

HARVEY

    Couple dollars? Yeah, sure. What for?

DIANE

    I need something at the drug store.

    (JANET AND BEV WATCH SOMEWHAT BEFUDDLED. HARVEY STANDS TO REACH IN HIS BACK POCKET FOR HIS WALLET. HOW MUCH HE ASKS. SHE SAYS JUST TWO. HE GIVE HER THE BILLS. SHE SMILES, “THANK YOU,” TURNS AND EXITS OUT THE HALLWAY DOOR. AT THE SAME TIME SOUNDS COME FROM THE KITCHEN AS DOUG COMES INTO THE HOUSE. AS JANET SPEAKS HE ENTERS FROM THAT DOOR.)

JANET

    The drug store? So that’s what it’s all about. It’s her time of the month. I get all funny then too and she’s got her wedding coming up. Doug, who’s watching the kids now?

DOUG

    Georgie is back there.

JANET

    Georgie? Georgie, he’s not going to watch them. He’s just a little kid himself. I better go.

II-13

HARVEY

    I’ll go with you.(HE GETS UP) Good morning, Doug. It was good to see you out there dancing.

DOUG

    Yeah, but I think you got me beat there. This the Sunday. (HE BEGINS TO SORT THROUGH THE PAPER FOR THE SPORTS SECTION.)

BEV

    I’m going too.

    THE THREE EXIT OUT THE KITCHEN DOOR. DOUG FINDS THE SPORTS AND WALKS INTO THE LIVINGROOM, SITS ON THE COUCH AND PUTS THE PAPER IN FRONT OF HIS FACE.

    GEORGE COMES IN THE KITCHEN DOOR, SEES DOUG AND GOES OVER TO HIM.

GEORGE

    You were trying to ditch me, weren’t you?

DOUG

    (HE PUTS DOWN THE PAPER TO LOOK AT GEORGE.) What makes you say that, huh Georgie? I just thought you were playing in the sand box with Tommy.

II-14

GEORGE

    Ha, you think that was funny, don’t you?

DOUG

    No. You see me laughing.

GEORGE

    But you’re smiling. That’s the same thing.

DOUG

    Alright, it was funny. How about it? I got the sports here. (HE PUTS THE PAPER IN FRONT OF HIS FACE AGAIN.)

GEORGE

    Not so funny as last night looking for the key

DOUG

    The key? (DOUG DROPS THE PAPER ONTO TO HIS LAP.)Wha…wha..What you talking about?

GEORGE

    I saw you and Diane

DOUG

    You, you what?

GEORGE

    I didn’t go to the reception. Mom and dad thought I was going with you, but I never asked. So I was in bed reading my comic books, When I heard your car, I turned off the light I knew you’d think it real funny that everybody forgot me. You were looking for the key and you….

                  DOUG                   

    (HE PUTS DOWN THE PAPER AND STAND UP.) Wait now…..you ah…,..

GEORGE

    She really gets mad, doesn’t she? “That’s enough ” and she swore. I can’nt swear or I’d say it. She always swears when she gets mad. You had your hand….

DOUG

    (BEORE GEORGE CAN FINISH, HE BOLTS UP, TAKES A COUPLE STEPS AND LIKE HE IS TOSSING A BALL IN HIS GLOVE) Yeah, yeah, hey buddy what about it, how about you and I playing a little catch huh.

GEORGE

    Buddy? Buddy! Sure. I’ll go get my glove. (GEORGE RUNS TO THE HALLWAY DOOR JUST AS DIANE IS COMING OUT. SHE DODGES TO THE SIDE. GEORGE EXITS.

DIANE ENTERS: SHE IS WEARING A SLEEVELESS BLOUSE WITH AN OPEN COLAR, FITTED BLUE JEANS THAT SHOW OFF HER SHAPE. SHE HAS ON LIPSTICK AND SHE LOOKS GREAT. AS SHE WALKS TO THE FRONT DOOR. SHE LOOKS STRAIGHT AHEAD IT APPEARS SHE IS ANGRY WITH HIM AND WILL SNUB Doug. HE STIFFENS LIKE A SOLDIER AS SHE IS ABOUT TO PASS HIM.)

DIANE

    (WITHOUT LOOKING AT HIM AND WITH A QUICK SMILE.) Thanks Doug. (AND SHE TAPS HIM WITH THE BACK OF HER HAND. SHE GOES TO

THE DOOR AND EXITS. DOUG STANDS DUMBLY AS THE CURTAIN CLOSES.)

END

    The curtain call would have the cast come out still in character and in this order BEV, HARVY, DIANE, MILTON, GEORGE, DOUG, JANET AND BOB. After the bows, BOB looks down the line, steps out and joins DIANE. They hug. Again the cast bows. Now they all look to the right as one more is about to come out. It’s Tooty France. As she walks by DOUG’S interest is obvious while Milton recoils. JANET gives an elbow to DOUG. The  crew bows again and go off stage.